“Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:4).
There is an unintentional hazard that comes with skill building.
I remember a friend who after graduating from high school made the decision that he was going to learn all the skills necessary to build his own house. He had a great job as a delivery driver, but he wanted to accumulate all these extra building skills.
He aggressively learned basic plumbing, electrical work, framing, cabinetry, etc. And after five years, he did in fact build his own house.
But along the way, other people he knew became aware of his skills. Then it started small; someone wanted their toilet fixed. Someone else wanted a light fixture replaced. He had a kind heart and a desire to help, so he frequently agreed to take on all these side projects.
Years later, the side projects became a second career. The demand on his time became severe, and at one point, he suffered a mental breakdown from a life way too filled with projects and commitments.
What happens when people become aware that you can do certain things? They call on you when they or someone they know is in need. But that’s natural and there is nothing wrong about that.
But did you know there is a difference between what you CAN do (abilities, skills, talents, etc.) and what you SHOULD do? The difference almost always is that you should do LESS than what you are truly capable of.
That means when someone calls and asks if you could do something for them, how you answer should not be based only on what you are capable of doing but on what you are available to do.
I say this because I talk to many people who are overextended. Their lives are filled with so many activities and commitments that they wake up early, go to bed late, and scrape through the day in between.
So, let me say it straight: you are not required or expected to give out of your full abilities. Just because you can do something, doesn’t mean you should.
Knowing what your availability is requires a careful evaluation of your week. But scaling back and saying no to people may be the behaviour that saves your life. Keeps you out of the hospital or the psych ward. Saves your marriage. Keeps your kids from becoming resentful.
Therefore, the secret to living up to your full potential is to not focus on what you can do but what you should be doing. We all want to help people. Selfless behaviour is a virtue. In the verse above, did you know that not only does it say that you should look out for other people’s interests, but it also says that you should look out for your own personal interests? And people with a high capacity and high skill set have a tendency of forgetting this. They allow themselves to live on little food and even less sleep. They bend over backward to serve at the expense of their own well being.
So, if this is you, let me encourage you to take stock of your schedule. What are you committing to that you maybe should let go of? Trust me when I tell you that the best version of yourself—the one who can do the most and the best for others—is one who has set the bar of commitment underneath the bar of their ability.